Tricky Treats

Happy Halloween, my dears,
Run out to the streets!
Open up your bags in joy
And gather up some treats!

Look at all the little ghouls,
The kids in masks and sheets.
Look at all the scary creatures
Walking on two feet!

So have some fun, my children, go,
And dance and sing and eat
Until you get that sugar high
And promptly rot your teeth!

Pata-Pata-Pata-Pon

Inspired by this. For those who don't know what Patapon is, here you go. And for anyone who doesn't know Dr. Seuss, shame on you.


I like to Patapon all day,
I like to Patapon, I say!
I do not think I'll go to school,
I won't go swimming in the pool.
I'd rather stay at home, you see,
And Pata on my PSP.
I will not share it with a fox,
I will not share it on a box,
I will not share it with a mouse,
I will not share it in the house,
My Patapon's for me to play
So let me Patapon, ok?
I Patapon when in my room,
I'd Patapon when in a tomb!
I'd Patapon while on the lam,
Running from damn Sam-I-Am.

A conversation between a lady socialite and a man on the street

"A penny with your thoughts, my dear,
A nickel with your prayers."

"I haven't got a cent, I fear,
And your soul I can't repair-"

"But ma'am, if you will kindly please
Just hear what I've to say.
I beg, upon my splintered knees,
Forgoing any pay,
I beg for your forgiveness, ma'am,
And for some peace of mind.
You wouldn't, surely, dare to damn
The sorry for their crimes?"

"Now see here, sir, perhaps you need-"

"I never needed pity."

"I meant to say respite from greed
Within a dying city."

"You state a point that's valid, sure,
But that's not what I seek.
Just mercy from one so demure
For the wretched and the weak."

"So if, with words, I cleanse your soul-"

"Then I'll be on my way."

"Well...with grace then do I make you whole
And for your heart I pray."

"I thank you truly, and I wish-"

"Excuse me, sir, I leave."

"But please just one more second, Miss,
Upon this dreary eve.
You see, you've given me new life,
Absolved me of my crime-"

"Somebody help! He has a knife-"

"Your life, sweet dear, is mine.
You struggle, but you fail to see
That all that's wrong is right.
I thank you, ma'am, for freeing me
Until another night."

Busy Jared Flea

A slight tweaking of an older poem:


Busy, busy Jared Flea,
Busy, busy as a bee
Buzzing 'round the meadow's fare
Of reddened brick and smoggy air,
Working till he needs some sleep
Within his hive, his hold, his keep,
Upon a bed of emptied honey
Lined with sheets of absent money.

Jared, Jared, sleeps away,
Prepping for another day.

Tea Time

I like to drink my tea
For everyone to see,
So when I turn and walk away
No words will people have to say -
They'll know I went to pee.

"I" Banking

I went to the banker,
Demanded a ten.
He gave me a twenty,
A spoon, and a hen.

I asked him, quite quizzically,
"What's this all for?"
He said, with a smile,
And a nod at the door,

"The twenty's to hasten
Your exit from here.
The spoon, so you'll eat up
Your rudeness in fear

Because of the torment
You'll face from this hen,
Who'll trail you to Hell
Till you pay back my tens."

Tied Up

"Hey, Guy,
Nice tie.
Red eyes!
You cry...
But why?
Cream pie?
Oh my.
Don't try -
Won't dry.
Just buy
New tie."